Joke: Shoplifting
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, ‘What did you steal?’
She replied: a can of peaches.
The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge then said, ‘I will give you 6 days in jail.’
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
He said, ‘ What is it? ‘
The husband said ‘She also stole a can of peas.’
A Whole Lot of Wii in one Bag - Entertainment Pack
Found over at Boysstuff.Co.Uk this pack has something for all Wii occasions. From remote protectors to coloured wristbands & golf clubs to baseball bats, its all in there. Here is the list:
Fuel Price Drops a Relief to Us All
FINALLY some good news for hard-pressed motorists - fuel prices are gradually coming down as the price of a barrel of oil falls.
The average price of a litre of petrol is now 129.9c — down 4c from last month — while diesel has also fallen 4c to an average price of 139.9c.
It’s the cheapest fuel has been since last May, but the falls are far short of the 20pc drop in the price of a barrel of oil since it reached a peak of $147 less than a month ago.
A barrel cost $118 yesterday, the lowest point since May 5, but petrol and diesel have not fallen by the same margin.
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‘Fleeced’ shoppers head for the border
SHOPPING centres in the North have seen a 40pc surge in shoppers crossing the border to snap up bargains.
Border-hopping consumers are exploiting the fact that branded goods are about a third cheaper in the North. The research also reveals that the average daily spend of €81.11 by southern shoppers is the highest of all day-trippers from outside the North to Belfast.
Euro-wise shoppers from the South are border-hopping to take advantage of the strength of the euro against sterling and lower prices in the North. Lower VAT rates and costs for retailers also mean that goods are cheaper.
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Joke: Old Girlfriend
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked,’Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
Irish Tax hikes threat as revenue drops €2bn
FURTHER spending cuts and Budget tax rises are on the cards after a record slump in the public finances.
Yesterday, Government forecasts for the State coffers were thrown into disarray — just a month after they were made — following a huge €780m shortfall in VAT receipts in July.
Total tax revenues are now more than €2bn behind target for the year so far, according to the latest Exchequer returns.
Last night economists said Finance Minister Brian Lenihan would have to borrow more than €9bn this year.
And next year will be much worse, with corrective action needed to prevent borrowing surging through EU limits.
December’s Budget will have to get borrowing down, and that will mean bigger spending cuts than the €1bn already announced.
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