A woman went to the doctor’s office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her [...]
Dear John,
I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husband’s help. When I got home, I couldn’t believe [...]
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run — anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, “Did I wake you?”
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. [...]
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
Specificity
British
Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious
Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex
Nope, no more booze for me
Sorry, but you’re not really my type
Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight
Oh, I just [...]
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favour?”
“Of course. What may I do for you?”
“Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through [...]
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ‘ Happy Birthday.’
I thought…. Well, that’s marriage [...]
