A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume.
She turns to the old Italian woman on the elevator with her and says arrogantly, “Giorgio – Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!”
Another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to [...]

A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
Not the fizziest drink in the fridge.
All foam, no beer.
Her antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels
Too much yardage between the goalposts.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.
Two sheep short of a jumper.
A sandwich sort of [...]

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.
“Pardon me, sir,” she says to the store manager, “but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?”
“Well,” he replies pointing out one brand, “this is as [...]

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her Birthday. I’d like to be [...]

A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don’t knock out any windows. It’ll cost us a fortune to fix!” The wife teed [...]